Wednesday, January 30, 2008

On Naughty Talk

Naughty talk during sex: Some of us love it, others don't. Few are likely to be on the fence.

I love it. It's a turn on. It gets me hot. It gets me wet. If your default setting on the sexual ideology scale leans towards submissive, as does mine, naughty talk is a natural garnish to the sexual entree. And lets be clear. When I say submissive, I'm reminded of what Nina said over at Lazy Geisha: There's a difference between being submissive and being "a submissive." If you're a take-charge kind of guy, I'm there. If you like seeing your woman in a ball gag, keep moving. There's nothing to see here.

Some, Steve for instance, use naughty talk for orders and questions: "Suck my cock.....You like giving head, don't you....." Others, Luke for instance, like to describe and define: "You're such a slut....You're my bitch..."

My physical reaction to naughty talk sends a clear signal to my partner that such verbal play is more than acceptable. For me, it's all in good fun. It's foreplay. It always stops at the bedroom door, or the door of whichever room you happen to be in at the time.

Others do not like the naughty talk.

The real question for a man is, how does one determine if naughty talk is OK and the parameters of such talk? I can get off being called a whore in the heat of the moment, particularly if I'm acting like one. On the other hand, a partner once got over-heated and thought cunt-face was appropriate. A flag was called on that play.

There's always the direct route: Just ask. This has its drawbacks in terms of spontaneity. Case in point, Cooper's recent venture into the realm of naughty talk.

Picture me, on my knees, blowing Cooper. Out of nowhere:

Cooper: Do you like talking dirty?

Me: Uh-huh

Cooper: What's alright for me to say?

Me: What do you want to say?

Cooper: I want to call you something.

Me: What do you want to call me?

Cooper: Do you mind if I call you a slut?

Me: Nope.

Cooper: You're a slut.

Well, if you like your blow jobs uninterrupted be a giggle fit, the open, honest method has it's problems. At least during the act. Give yourself appropriate lead-time.

Another choice is the Grenade Method. Toss it out there and see what happens. The drawbacks are quite obvious with this method. The shrapnel is going to blowback. It's just a matter of direction. If she climaxes within ten or twenty seconds after being called a slut or whore or bitch, she's probably fine with it. If, on the other hand, you find yourself standing half-naked on her doorstep within ten or twenty seconds, you have your answer.

There's the Gradual Method, where you work up to where you wish to be. This is great if time is not of the essence. You can start gradually, with innocuous phrases: "You like that, don't you. You're a naughty girl...." If you pay attention, and care, you'll discover her boundries.

Now, I'd like to thank all of you for your kind words of congratulations. It means a lot to both of us. Thank you so much. And a special thanks to Him & Her at Erotic Union and Saratoga, for the Cat Woman video posted in my honor. That was sweet of him.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Hot Fiancée?

It's time to let our blog friends know that Steve and I are engaged. That's right! It finally happened and I'm on the track to being an honest woman. For longtime readers, you know what this means to me.

I'm very happy and very excited. My mind is racing at light speed with plans and preparations. Of course, I have a million magazines piled around the house, in my search for the perfect dress.

Steve proposed a few weeks ago. Now that it's finally sunk-in, I'll write more about it in the future, especially about the actual proposal.

We also do not intend for this blog to become an "all things wedding" blog. Perhaps an update every now and then but nothing can be more boring than reading the details of anothers wedding.

On the Chris front, things are delicate. He was told, in person, of course and it was very difficult for me and Chris. I'll write about that at a later date as well. Steve also told Chase and since he stayed over with her that night I assume things went well. Very well.

In the meantime, our friends have labeled me HF for a Hot Fiancee. I think that may be a new category. I haven't googled it.

A big Thanks for all the people that have linked to our new endeavor. We have a few of our own links to add and hope to have that done soon.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The Look

Does your wife, girlfriend, significant other, lover have a certain look that's your favorite? A look that might not have caused you to fall in love but sure as hell helped?

I'm not talking about eye contact here, just a style of window dressing that does it for you.

Here's what I mean.

1. The Little Black Dress - Most women have one and most look absolutely adorable in the little black dress. I salivate when Piper wears her little, black dress. She'll throw on some black stocking, put on the high heels and garnish it all with an ankle bracelet perhaps.

2. Lingerie - There's almost nothing quite like seeing Piper or Chase (hopefully both one day)waiting for me in the bedroom wearing in a bodice, or garters or boy's the rare man that doesn't appreciate a woman in lingerie.

3. The Professional Look - A form fitting,yet no nonsense skirt might be your thing. Hair up, glasses on, ready to....I don't know, do something professional.

There's a whole bunch more. Numbers one and two above are always favorites. Those are tremendous looks. Truth be told? I love it when Piper is just bumming around the house in jeans and a tee shirt. Maybe she's got a baseball cap on or she's got a ponytail. Little to no makeup makes it even better. What is it about that natural look? It drives me crazy.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

On Gang Bangs

A reader e-mailed me recently to ask how Kit enjoyed her gang bang.

This occurred late last year. A group of us attended a swinger's party, found it uncomfortable and decided to have our own party at someones home. Kit then entertained four (or five) of the men while Ember and I had some of our own fun with a young man named Jason.

I'm not sure about other women but I don't see how anyone can truly enjoy more than two men at the same time. Please note, the phrase "truly enjoy" as distinguished from having fun. I can see how attention from a group of men could be fun. Truly enjoy? I'm skeptical.

Sex is a wonderful give-and-receive experience, whether it's giving and receiving pleasure, attention, love and, ultimately, bodily fluids. You can develop that give-and-receive with one or two other people. It's like dinning at a fine restaurant where attention to detail makes the meal a memorable experience. Gang bangs look like the sexual equivalent of going through the McDonald's drive-thru: the food is cheap, fast, forgettable and God knows how many people handled it before it got to your mouth.

Steve has two porn DVD's that feature gang bangs, or at least two that I know of. The first one is done quite well. It features five or six men with a real cutie. It has a real, light touch to it where everyone looks like they're having, if not an intimate, romantic moment, at least some fun. You can tell from her look, especially her eyes, that she does not dislike her work.

The other gang bang scene looks almost criminal. It features ten or more men and a lifeless woman who looks like she'd rather be having root canal without anesthesia. Her eyes look empty. At the end, all the men cum on her face and in her mouth. If you've read me in the past you know that I cannot be labeled a prude. I enjoy taking a load in the face and/or mouth for my men. One load, maybe two. What I saw in the movie was just gratuitous and mind-numbing. There's a fine line between the erotic and the comedic.

My own flirtation with a gang bang occurred a few years back when I was with three men. I knew all three, liked all three and trusted all three. I don't know if you need a specific amount of men for official, gang bang status. I'm sure three men don't qualify. Steve's theory is that for there to be a gang bang the girl can have all holes filled and still have at least one guy waiting in line for a turn. Not as eloquently stated as some other theories but point taken.

Three men caused sensory overload. You find yourself concentrating so much on pleasuring the men and coordinating that pleasure that you have little time to concentrate on yourself. In short, too much of a good thing.....

Kit's take was somewhat like mine. On the purely physical side, she found it physically tiring. She also had the sensory overload experience where she was unable to savor the moment because too much was happening all at once.

She did note, as did I, that mentally, it's a rush. The sheer naughtiness of it produces more of a climax between the ears than between the legs. But, perhaps, all of our best orgasms happen more in the head than in other regions of the body.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

First Post - Role Playing

Welcome to my virgin post. Be gentle and promise to respect me in the morning.
"Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels." - Faith Whittlesey

I admire women for a many reasons. One of those reasons is for the variety of roles they play in the lives of others and their ability to slip in and out of those roles with apparent ease. We men play roles as well, but not as many and the lines between those roles are much more blurred.

I've watched Piper be a dutiful daughter, reliable sister, competent professional and a girlfriend all in the space of mere hours. I can be a dutiful son, brother and boyfriend but I'm always the same Steve in each role. Advice I dispense to my father is the same advice, delivered the same way, that I give to my sisters or brothers or girlfriend. Piper, and most women I think, bring certain qualities and sensibilities to the particular roles they are called to perform. In a sense, they tailor their interaction in a way men do not. The recipient of their attention feels special.

Woman are not just supportive---they support. I won't speak for most men but I've come to realize that my support consists mostly of not standing in the way of something. On the other hand, Piper actively supports me. For example, she'll rearrange her schedule to be at important events or run an errand for me if I'm stuck at work. I'll do those things as well but I usually have to be asked.

As my appreciation for these qualities in one woman has grown I've observed many of the same qualities in other women.

These are amazing qualities and, I imagine, burdensome at times. Burdensome it may be but much appreciated by me and many men. My New Years resolution is to show the women in my life - girlfriend, mother, sister - my appreciation more often and in a more meaningful way.

By the way, Piper did something the other night, backwards and in high heels, but we won't talk about that now.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Third Annual Piper Awards

One of my favorite things to do is promote blogs that have given me pleasure, made me think or simply entertained me. Each, I believe, has carved out a unique nich in the blogosphere with their own unique voice. Steve has decided to chime in on some of my choices for the Third Annual Pipers. So, lets have at it.


I kept a journal as a young lass and many of my girlfriends did as well. It was a secret treasure trove of my thoughts, hopes, dreams, desires and fears. The interloper who purloined even an innocent, casual glance was doomed to an earful of pre-teen -tween vitriol that could make a sergeant-major quake.

Journals are alive and well today in the form of many blogs. People have opened-up that treasure trove for all to see. Some of are interest only to friends of the journalist. Others are of interest to no one. Some suck you in to follow the writer's trials.

I've read On the Prowl for many years now. It's been a delight to read her diary/blog and see a young woman grow in so many ways. She's strong and resilient but also vulnerable. Smart and self-confident but occasionally naive and filled with self-doubt.

It's not just voyeurism that compels my return. Any man would do well to read this beautiful girl's thoughts. She doesn't seek perfection in men, a common misunderstanding men read into a woman's frustration. Chickpea knows perfection is a fairytale and not fair to anyone. Instead, she simply wants the bumps in the road to be ironed out and faced head-on. I know Chickpea's fella's are in it deep when they react to a problem by...vanishing. Silence is fine, anger is fine but don't up and leave. When you do it over minor things you're telegraphing how you'll handle big things.

Chickpea's triumphs inspire me almost as much as her spirit in the face of adversity. - "Piper"

Read her for some time now. She's complex but not complicated. I hate when men confuse the two. Consistency and stability in a relationship isn't the demand of a high-maintenance woman. Hope she finds both. Oh, she also posted a photo one time that got me instantly hard. I think fish net stocking were involved. Much appreciated. - "Steve"


In honor of Men, I'll keep this as short and as monosyllabic as possible. I love blogs by men. Not guys or boys but Men! What's the difference? Like Potter Stewart's definition of pornography, "I know it when I see it..." Of course, Stewart went on to say, "...and this movie isn't it." Well, this blog is it. A Man Blog, Pluff Mud Musings.

One of the refreshing aspects of Pluff is that he's secure enough to describe his failures while never over-playing his successes. Men don't need to brag. - "Piper"

Who is Potter Stewart? Does he blog?- "Steve"


Lazy Geisha continues to provide it's readers with feminine insight wrapped sterling prose. Nina is eloquent and elegant on subjects as diverse as sex toys and baseball. Nina has many talents but one shines above all: when I read a post I feel as if Nina's there and we're talking, perhaps over coffee or a glass of wine. She makes you feel at home. I bet she's a terrific hostess. Plus, I think I have a crush on her.

Blogs are like wine. Sometimes a bottle of Beaujolais Nouveau hits the spot, sometimes it takes a fine Pomerol. Both are good but there's a difference. And Nina ain't the Beaujolais.

My other choice is Bad Influence Girl. She writes it from the heart, whether it's personal issues, the under-rated missionary position or the pleasure derived from giving pleasure. If you're into sex toys, BI Girl also has reviews for you. Really, it's a can't miss blog with a unique voice. - "Piper"

What can you say about Nina? Smart, hot, bisexual and a loyal citizen of Red Sox Nation. So many good things should not come in one package. It may upset the balance of the universe - "Steve"


Ouch! Don't touch Amy's blog or stare directly at it for to long. White hot. - "Steve"


New to me, anway. How can you not like That Girl's Life with a quote like this:

"Obviously the sex Saturday was incredible. I gather few things are as inspiring to a man as listening to the woman he's about to fuck describe why sex is great with another man.

Another man this man has watched fuck you.

Of course, in all fairness, it could have been the boots."

Yep! Sometimes it is all about the boots. But, it's more than that. I like the way this girl writes and I like the fact she does write, as opposed to posting photo after photo. That's fine if you do but I appreciate the prose. - "Piper"


Think Tom Paine was just a brilliant 18th century political pamphleteer? Think again. Polyamorously Perverse by Tom Paine approaches the subject of alternative lifestyles like a fighter approaches a bare-knuckled bout. He doesn't pull punches and says what is on his mind, even if it's about his own foibles.

There many extremely useful posts for those considering some type of non-exclusive relationship and I'd recommend this blog to those thinking of taking the plunge before they do so. Also, Tom practices what can be the best side of blogging. He opens dialogues by posting others thoughts, giving us his thoughts and then opening the floor for discussion.

Typically, as I write this, Tom's considering closing shop. Maybe I shouldn't link to anyone. Every time I do it seems like they disappear. - "Piper"

Often says what I'm thinking. The only difference is I'm too much of a pussy to say it! - "Steve"


We have two in this category. Both of us enjoy Erotic Union and Sexy Duet. We have written about them before and consider them great blog friends. They tend to be on the light, breezy fun side. Perfect Beach Blogs if you're crazy enough to ruin the beach by dragging a lop top onto the sands. Our choice if we ever partied with other blog couples (wink, wink). - "Piper"


On the more contemplative side of things, you have Hot Wife Experiences by RachAndrew. Like Tom Paine, a good primer for those exploring Hot Wifery. They handle the subject with grace, dignity and sensitivity often missing in the genre. - "Piper"

Quality goods. A definite read for any man thinking about approaching his significant other about this lifestyle. Good insight into the female perspective. I realize I can be selfish in that arena and some entries have actually helped me out. - "Steve"

Shasta, at Stiletto Diaries, is one of our favorites as well. Her detailed account of her first outside-of-marriage experience holds lessons for us all. She was also brutally honest early on about ignoring her own poly rules. She took a lot of heat for that but take it she did.


What would January be without giving my blogfather a Piper? Wanton Maleness really pressed the envelope last year with a number of first times. He came through, so far, unscathed. For any woman who fantasizes about a bi husband (admittedly, not me) WM is you're man.

Last but not least, an old favorite, Saratoga. This may not be your cup of tea. A submissive male details his thoughts and experiences. It can be extreme but it's thoughtful as well. It's a fascinating lifestyle from many perspectives. It's nothing I've been tempted to try but I enjoy the read. I also like the cat woman pics. I've always wanted to dress-up like Cat Woman for Halloween it's just I could never pull it off. Cat Woman is slick, graceful and sensual. I'm a dork.

I did make him his own, special statue.

That's how I'd dress for our date! Not that I'd really have the nerve to dress like that.

Love you guys and thanks for the 2007 memories.