Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Stuff....Just Stuff

It's been an interesting few weeks.

I turned thirty-two this month. That's right, the big 32. It did not strike me as one of those milestone birthdays. There was little reflection on my part. I did want to be married by thirty-two, perhaps even have my first child by that age. However, I've learned to set aside "plans" and to enjoy life as one, long improvisation.

Chris sent me flowers. A beautiful bouquet of roses accompanied by a simple note: Love, Chris.

Talks with Chris have started and then stalled; started and stalled. We have made plans to get together but he's cancelled both times. I find this confusing because on both occasions Chris initiated the dates. I eagerly accepted and then he cancelled. His reasons for both cancellations seemed sincere but based on previous behavior I always wonder if it's some passive-aggressive, Fuck You, Piper!

He's complicated. Although, when I mentioned this to him he said, "No, you've complicated me."

After much consideration, I'd dearly like to salvage my relationship with Chris. I do love him but it's more than that. I feel a close to him. A closeness that I have experienced with no other person aside from Steve.

To be brutally honest, I confess that my desire to salvage the relationship also has a less attractive side. Partly guilt and partly security. I feel like some part of me wanted Chris around until Steve committed to marriage. It wasn't a conscious plan but upon reflection I used him as a safety net.

More unflattering, and I'm ashamed to admit this, I enjoyed his desire to have me. It's not pretty but at least it's the truth.

Which is why I'll never get involved in another romantic relationship again. Steve and I have discussed "swinging" after marriage a number of times and I'm mulling over ground rules. No matter how that turns out, I just can't be emotionally entangled with two men. That's even if both acquiesce.

To end on a high note: My birthday was terrific. Steve took me to dinner and we also went ice skating. I haven't been ice skating in some time. Skating was always a passion of mine. I figure skated for years. I was always good enough to compete but never good enough to win. My best finish was third place when I was seventeen. Ever notice that the difference between first place and second place is minuscule while the distance between second and third is painfully insurmountable?

I do consider myself lucky. Unlike many, I never grew to resent the passion I could not master.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

You Can't Go Home Again

Nina had a recent entry that made me laugh. It brought back more than a few memories about sex while the parents were in the house.

I suspect most of us have had the experience of fooling around while parents were nearby: perhaps they were watching television or, even better, sleeping soundly in another part of the house.

Unfortunately, the need to remain quiet during sex coincides with a time in your life when discretion easily gives way to desire. When I discovered sex (my junior year of high school), I could not get enough. My boyfriend wanted it even more, if that is possible.

I dated the same boy in high school for two+ years. It was one of those on-again, off-again, melodramatic relationships. It was more than just sex. We were very close. We spent nearly every hour together. I'd be at his house after school or he'd be at mine. He was a virgin when we first had sex. I was not, though my experience at that point was quite limited.

Up until the night we had actual, vaginal sex, we experimented with just about everything. We experimented a lot. There was so much experimentation we should have had a laboratory. We experimented with masturbating, handjobs, oral sex, anal sex....

All of this would usually happen in my home or his, with privacy severely limited by the proximity of parents or siblings. Neither home was ideal for intimate, teenage activity.

I can remember my boyfriend getting frustrated when his younger siblings wouldn't go to bed on time; him having to cover my mouth as we fucked; or hurriedly trying to get dressed when we heard the sound of parental footsteps. The worst was being interrupted by his father coming downstairs and telling him it was time to take me home. The frustration.

And the oral sex! My god, that boy, for a time, would get at least one blowjob a day. Often times two. I think I spent half the day with my head in his lap. I doubt I was very good but teenage boys are not particularly discriminating when it comes to having their cock sucked. I doubt very much if there is a bad blowjob when you're sixteen or seventeen. Once I got the hang of it, I could generally make him climax fairly quickly.

There was a time or two that the presence of others didn't even bother us. Once, we were at a big party. Both of us were a bit drunk. He sat in a chair while I got on my knees, pulled out his cock and began to go down on him. A drunk friend of his wandered into the room. The friend, more inebriated than us, sat down and began talking. I'm not sure if he even watched. He just talked and talked like nothing was going on.

Told you Nina's post brought back memories. The funny thing is, when you initially have all the privacy you need, you find yourself still having quiet, "I hope they can't hear us" sex.

Here's to those hot, sticky, sex-charged nights of our youth. Regardless of the sex, there was an innocence about it all that I recall with fondness.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

The Look

Does your guy have a look? A certain glance that makes your knees go weak, makes your butter melt, ignites your pilot light?

Steve has a look that reminds me that we are not only boyfriend/girlfriend, fiance/fiancee but also passionate lovers.

It would be almost wrong if I could paint a complete picture of that look. As wrong as it would be if Steve could summon that look at will.

We were at a bar last night, celebrating a friend's promotion. I was speaking to a few friends. Steve was about twenty feet away, speaking to a group of friends. He was dressed in a casual yet rugged way that I love: jeans, well-worn sweater and his duster. His face sported an awesome five-o'clock shadow. Just the right amount of time between shaves.

Every now and then I'd look up from my conversation at the same time he'd look up. I'd get that look. Of course, once he realizes he's got me....the look vanishes. That's fine. Transitory moments are all the more valuable because they are transitory. Permanency can be overrated.

In other news...

Nina, at Lazy Geisha, had an amusing post about sex in her In-Laws home. That brought back memories but I'll leave that for another post.

Monday, March 10, 2008


One thing I envy about women, in the sexual arena, is their ability to have multiple orgasms. I also envy the fact that they can remain ready to go after a good romp. Both Piper and Chase typically climax multiple times when we have sex. I'm not talking double digits here, but usually two or three times.

That's not because I'm a wunderkind by any means. To paraphrase an oft used line, it's them, not me.

My drop in sexual energy is quite dramatic after I orgasm. The same is true of my sexual inhibitions. Pre-orgasm, I'm game for most anything. I'll say or suggest quite a few things pre-climax. Afterwards, I cool-down quickly and wonder, "What the hell was I thinking? I can't believe I said that."

One night, Piper and I were going at it pretty hot and heavy. We started with the dirty talk. One thing lead to another and I said, "I'm going to cum on your tits and lick it all up."

Piper dutifully awaited my cum shot. I pulled out out and shot a healthy load over her tits, up to her neck and chin. Then, almost immediately, my sexual energy drained away. I did lean down to clean Piper up but couldn't do it. What seemed hot less than a minute before now made me want to gag.

On the upside, after a really hot round of sex, I can get very horny a few hours later and perform fairly well.

I've witnessed both Piper and Chase entertain multiple men simultaneously. They're satisfied and the men are satisfied. I envy that. I wish I could go all night when Piper and I invite another female into bed. In those situations both women usually climax. It can be tough going though, with frequent breaks so I don't cum too soon.

Thursday, March 6, 2008


The other night, Steve and I played this little game. He'd toss out two names, places, styles etc. and without much deliberation, I voiced my preference. I did the same for him. It was fun.

An example: Steve said, "Baseball or Football?" I chose baseball, of course.

It got me thinking about the preferences we have for some thing over the other. In many instances you may like both "things." I do enjoy watching football. It's a worthy game. I just prefer baseball. What I found interesting was going with a choice without any real deliberation. Why do you make a visceral choice for one thing over the other? And I don't mean choices that automatically define you to some extent. For instance, if someone chooses to be a Democrat or Republican, that choice gives us a certain amount of information about that person. But, what does it tell us if someone prefers Liszt over Chopin?

Well, for fun, here are some I made. My picks are first. I wonder what it says about me, or anyone for that matter.

Baseball - Football
Ocean air - Mountain Air
Cats - Dogs
Scooby Doo - Jetsons
East Coast - West Coast
Fitzgerald - Hemingway
Fall - Spring
Beethoven - Mozart
Chocolate - Vanilla
Thin Red Line - Saving Private Ryan
Jeans - Skirts
Homicide - NYPD Blue
Funny - Handsome
Rome - Paris
Bacall - Hepburn
Moonlight - Sunlight
Coltrane - Davis
Lobster - Steak
Clooney - Pitt
Wine - Beer
The Godfather - Goodfellas
Tea - Coffee
Comedy - Horror
Romance - Comedy
Beckinsale - Johansson
Vidal - Mailer
Ellington - Basie
Buffy - Angel

Anyway, we thought it was fun.

In honor of what will be four years blogging, here's a pic of what I wore the other night, for our date with Kit & Luke. I know.... lame entry.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Saturday Night Live - II

A continuation from the previous post.

Every threesome or foursome has it's own mood. Some are hot and heavy, others light and breezy. Some are uncomfortable and clumsy. It depends on the people involved and in many ways how well they know each other. This was a fun, light evening. Nothing was rushed and we had a blast.

When Luke and I left the bathroom we found Kit and Steve on the bed, in medias res. Steve was on top, giving Kit quite a pounding. Luke and I sat on the love seat and watched for a bit. Luke then lifted me up and placed me on his cock. We fucked for a while before Kit invited us to come to bed. We then embarked on a variety of positions involving all of us. Positions I had never done before or thought of before. No doubt the boys has been watching some porn and learning new tricks. Here's the best description I can provide:

1. Girl #1 lays down on her back. Guy #1 enters her, missionary style. Girl #2 sits over Girl #1's face while Guy #2 enters Girl #2 from behind. Not sure if that has a name but if it did it would take more time to say than we used to actually do that position.

2. Girl #1 is on her back, with her pussy positioned at the edge of the bed. Guy #1 stands and enters her. Guy #2 straddles Girl #1's face for a blow job. Girl #2 positions herself so she can share Guy#1's cock with Girl #1. This had one drawback. Luke didn't like staring at Steve's ass while he stood and fucked Kit. The double-standard is amusing. While Kit and I kiss, finger one another and even go down on each other, guys like to be as far away from each other as possible.

We tried a few other pretzel-like positions. None lasted long. None, thankfully, required chiropractic treatment. While crazy positions are fun for experimentation, the logistics of most do not lend themselves to sustained sex.

One very hot thing was Steve and I performing oral sex on Kit. There was just something very erotic about sharing a pussy with your boyfriend. We'd kiss and lick, kiss and lick, tasting Kit's juice on each other's lips.

To keep Steve from overheating, we let him take a break. Kit and I turned our complete attention to Luke. Luke has tremendous stamina, even when he's with two women. Truly remarkable. When Luke finished giving me a rock hard, thorough fucking, Kit licked me to orgasm. Following up Luke's hard sex with Kit's gentle, feminine touch was perfect.

I was fairly spent when it was Steve's turn to enjoy Kit and I. They did most of the fucking. I did my part when Kit jerked off Steve all over my tits and face.

We lounged around for another hour or two, enjoying each other. Then, we checked out.

The young man at the desk wanted to know if something was wrong with the room. Luke merely shook his head and said, "No, everything was fine."

The poor kid was very perplexed.

Hope your weekend was fun.

PS. We added a new link over on the right: Vanilla Sex Kitten. Check it out when you have a minute,