Sex is the ultimate personal matter. Well, perhaps not the ultimate. I suppose the one, grand act of life that's more personal than sex is death. After all, we share sex...most of the time. Death? That's a solo trip.
Since sex is so personal, our sexual boundaries are uniquely our own. It's our own country, we set the borders and we decide when to cross the frontier.
I claim to be non-judgmental where sex is involved. It sounds nice, it sounds enlightened and open-minded. I would not care to live in a place where 'enlightened' and 'open-minded' are negatives rather than positives.
A friend of mine discovered (long story) that Steve and I occasionally invite another person or couple into our sex life. We remain good friends despite the fact that she found such behavior odd and 'gross.'
This same friend disclosed to me, after one too many bottles of vino were uncorked, that her greatest turn-on was having her boyfriend (later husband) pee on her. I ask, which is more out of the mainstream: A third warm body or human waste?
That illustrates the relativity of our, or at least my, open-mindedness. As long as you stay in the ballpark, or at least in the vicinity of the ballpark, I'm fine. There remain things that consenting adults do that make me extremely uncomfortable.
The idea of introducing human waste, blood etc. into the act of sex is, in my view, extreme. I suspect the vast majority of people would agree. On the other hand, there are absolutely benign sexual practices that leave me cold as well.
Food. I'm incapable of combining food and sex. I don't care if it's ripe, luscious strawberries or George Costanza and his pastrami on rye with spicy mustard. Blech! A romantic dinner a few hours before lovemaking is wonderful. A few slices of pizza after a round of lovemaking can really hit the spot. In fact, I once heard someone define the perfect lover as "someone who turns into a pizza at 2:00AM." I just can't combine these two pleasure activities.
It's not that I'm neutral on the subject. It actually turns me off. Way off.
Luckily, food and sex isn't one of Steve's things either. Chris thought doggie-style was exotic so I imagine the use of food would not even be a blip on his radar. Some may find it humorous, or ironic, that another man or woman would end up in bed with Steve and I sooner than a bowl of strawberries.
I understand why the extremes I mentioned above would be a turn-off. I find it funny that the mere thought of combining life's two most enjoyable, sensual pleasures leaves me frigid. We all have boundaries. They do not always run true. They are more like the irregular, arbitrary borders of a state, province or nation. Recognize those borders and cross them fully aware of the risks.
Just leave pastrami on rye at home.
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7 comments:
Amen to that. Food and sex, it just messy, and not in a good way. Some people are really nutty: VSK and I went outta town with a friend. He was, beside being a bit boorish in his "service me" attitude, psychotic when I dared to eat something on "his" bed as we lay about watching TV. Like he was going to hit me or something if I spilled crumbs on his bed. Spill seed in my wife's mouth, but no no no to crumbs on the bed. Whatever.
Sex is very personal, but I wonder what it means that it is also made so political. We have a few friends who know about our play. If they freak, I guess I judge them a little. To me, that makes them a certain kind of crumb. Or maybe it something that I was daft to let slip out. I have a hard time lying about stuff. I don't fancy lying about sex, personal or not.
We have never been into the food - sex thing as well. Just don't see what people love about it. But hey each to their own. lets see, I will take the third party EVERY time.. human waste is not sexy to me..
People need to worry about their own issues and not worry about others. To many close minded people in the world.
have a great weekend.
I'm with you 100% on not getting the food thing.
Hm . . . no food in the bedroom . . . does that mean no sex in the kitchen?
Hugs . . .
--Lenora
Piper,
lmao... yeah babe, I'm with you on the whole food thing (the pee thing too) -- I don't get it either.
But you know, we have to accept that people like different things and even tho they may make us want to run for the hills - to them it all makes sense.
I do however like certain foods as aphrodisiacs -- and there's a certain sensual aspect of eating and enjoying food too. Eating can in some ways be incredibly erotic all in itself.
Remember the lobster scene in Flashdance...?
But not on my body! No - No - No!
Keep the whipped cream and strawberries on the ice cream! Thank you very much!
nina
ps - The Red Sox are kicking some Texas Ranger ass tonight! Yay!
Piper-
I've never done the food thing with sex.
But, well...given your tolerance, I'll skip details. From my blog, I'm sure you know that XM and I have done other things than sex which involve sterile waste, food, etc.
For us, it may not be sex, per se, as others would define it. But it is sexy and related to sex, for us. And sexual power transfer.
Which, for us, is very sexy.
*hugs*
-saratoga
I agree totally with the food thing. With me though, it's the thought of food getting into my vagina and me getting a yeast infection or something that totally turns me off from the food/sex combination.
The whole food and sex thing is how I found out I have a sugar allergy below the belt. Personally it never did anything for me - it was all for a guy. I am some what into ice being incorporated though. Ice isn't food though. Anyway, in all my AFF postings, my turn offs were always the extremes: torture, bodily fluids, waste, animals, pedophilia, and anal. I've learned from all my experimenting that I am thoroughly vanilla and I like it that way. Huzzah for boredom!
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