How to Keep Your Man Happy....

Yes, like most female sex bloggers I get the occasional e-mail asking me how to keep a man happy. They are sincere requests. My usual reply is sincere as well: I have no real idea how to keep a man happy. I believe I keep a particular man happy but as for men....I've been dumped more than once so I obviously lack a secret formula. However, I will share my thoughts.

Most of these e-mails, and I only get one or two every few months, are explicitly or implicitly couched in sexual terms. Therefore, I will offer my thoughts on the bedroom aspect of the relationship with the caveat that great sex enhances good and great relationships but does not create relationships or save relationship.

1. Recognize that Men are Individuals:

Seriously. They are, especially after the age of 25. As much as women don't deserve treatment as a monolithic block, men don't either. Did I just use the term 'monolithic block' on a sex blog? I think I did. Is that a first?

2. Appreciate that His Sex Drive is Different:

Seriously. Every woman who isn't a virgin knows this and the smart ones don't take it personally. His sex drive is very visual and on many days not what we'd consider romantic. Sure, we love it when Cinderella rides off with the Prince in his carriage, but we know that later on she might just be on her hands and knees, ass in the air. But, since he's visual, use it. That means lingerie, maybe just a pair of heels, or maintaining eye contact during a blow job (see #3). And don't worry about feeling silly. I once did a striptease for Steve and felt utterly clumsy and ridiculous. He thought it was hot. The best part about #2 is that once you take his sex drive into consideration you now have the authority to request that he take your sex drive into consideration. Now that I just treated men as a monolithic block, lets move on.

3. Blow Jobs:

Blow jobs are like pizza or beer: they have to really suck before you push them away. If you refuse to perform orally there's not really anything we can do for you. If you won't go down on your man chances are some woman has done so in his past. He knows what he's missing. A woman who won't give, at the very least, a workmanlike, enthusiastic blow job is like a major league pitcher without a change-up. You might make it to the majors, but you won't be staying.

4. Don't take His Fantasies Seriously:

Talking and fantasizing during sex can be very hot. Just remember, if you ask him to fantasize out loud and he says something like, :"I'd love to watch you with two men," don't look at him like you just discovered severed human heads in his closet. Most people don't really want a sexual fantasy to become reality. Many women, not me, fantasize on some variation of the abduction/rape scenario. No one has ever told me they want it to happen.

5. Communicate:

Cliche? Yes. Once you get over the embarrassment hurdle, tell him what you like (which by implication alerts him to what you don't like if he at least has a high school diploma and if he doesn't have a high school diploma....). Find out what he likes. Oh, before I forget, if you don't use much profanity in your daily life, toss in an occasional "fuck me." It will shock him and turn him on. A great formula. Just don't overuse the line.

6. Money Shot:

At least once in his life he'll want to emulate a porn movie. Let him ejaculate in your mouth. If you just can't, let him ejaculate on your face. If that's still a 'no go' you have tits, a stomach, a back....Although I usually have no problems with swallowing or a facial, I completely understand it if you do. But, there are other parts of your body and it's cum, not battery acid.

7. Tell Him He's Big:

Tell him he's big.

If you do all of these things, or most of them, I think your Man will be happy in the bedroom. If he doesn't appreciate those things, to hell with him. Still, I believe most men will more than appreciate your efforts. Just my thoughts.

Back soon with some vacation stories.

Back to Reality

We have returned from a week of torturous sun, sand and ocean. As wonderful as seaside vacations are, I think I would get bored with it after....three or four years.

In our absence a few people have linked to us. I'd like to thank them: la Petite Mort, about a long-distance, extra-marital affair; the Sexual Exploration Blog and Lucky. Thanks so much. We look forward to exploring your writings and hopefully we'll send some readers your way.

Happy Birthday wishes go out to Nina at Lazy Geisha. Sounds like an interesting birthday party. In her post-party post, Nina asks that age-old question: "How does one go about getting themselves into a position where they have their naked bottom out in front of 20 other people?”

Of course, the answer is Jello shots. Which is why I don't drink much or do Jello shots or even eat Jello. Happy Birthday, Sexy.

Also, Tom Paine was the subject of a radio interview. You can go here for a link to listen to the interview. Congrats to Tom. How exciting. Tom's a good choice for an interview. He thinks before he writes and isn't afraid to say something controversial if it advances the dialogue. However, he isn't into controversy for it's own sake.

Finally, we bid goodbye to Sexy Duet. The lovely lady behind that blog has closed down shop after a betrayal in her relationship. We send her our best wishes and hope she stays in touch. Good Luck, Sweetie.

Later, I hope to relate some of our vacation stories. See you soon.

Summer Break

Steve and I are out of here for a week of sand and surf. I'll see you when we get back,

In the meantime, if you're looking for some good reads, I urge you to take a look at the blogs on our blog roll, if you haven't already. They're great reads and are highly recommended.

We'll see you in about ten days. Be happy, be safe and have a terrific week.

This is New

While Steve showered after a long day at work, I lay on his bed. I wore my favorite boy shorts: blue and lacy with the matching halter-top. I tried out various positions trying to look feline and seductive. That just made me feel silly.

He seemed to take forever in the shower but after a while, I didn't mind. Drowsiness hit me and I almost fell asleep. Then, the water stopped and I heard the shower door open and close. He joined me in a few minutes, cock already stiff.

I went to take him into my mouth but instead he pushed me down on my stomach, straddled me and....gave me a back rub! Yes, a deep, delicious back rub. And shoulders as well. It was delightful. It was so relaxing that I could have drifted off to sleep. But I didn't.

Steve's hard cock pressed against my ass as he continued to rub my shoulders. He would stop my massage and rub his cock against my ass, noting that the fabric felt great. Then, some more shoulder massaging. I soon noticed he was using only one hand on me. I can feel his other hand, against my ass, moving back and forth. His breathing became heavy. I turn as best I can and see that he's playing with himself. His eyes glazed.

"Can I help," I asked.

More heavy breathing. Then he leans down and whispers: "I want to look at you and jerk off."

He's still rubbing my back and ass while he jerks off so what the hell? Everyone is happy.

This goes on for five or ten minutes, Then Steve abruptly stops. "Almost came," he explains. He yanked my shorts off and went down on me, licking my pussy and even using his tongue in my ass. After I climaxed he's back at it, rubbing against my ass and pleasuring himself. I take a break to remove my top. I mean, I really love this boy short set and I don't want it stained. Is that wrong?

His breathing starts to come in short but loud waves. Then I feel the hot liquid on my back.

I honestly cannot remember the last time I had so much sexual pleasure without any penetration. So, that was different. Different but good.

The Weekend

We had a great, sex-filled holiday weekend.

Cooper, Piper and I went to a party and then hooked up with Kit and Luke. Cooper was going to stay the night with Piper and I. Plans where in flux when Kit and Luke wanted to go back to their place.

I pulled Cooper aside to see how he felt about that. He hasn't really been involved in anything more than sex with Piper, with me watching or participating. The idea of throwing two more people into the mix can be overwhelming, especially when it's two strong personalities like Kit and Luke. I wanted to be thoughtful of his feelings.

See, I'm a guy. I know other people have feelings. I know the world, in theory, doesn't revolve around me. But, like many guys, I have to watch the governor that prevents this understanding from being acted upon.

Cooper seemed uneasy about the idea so I suggested he think about it while we were hanging out. I went out of my way to assure him that we wouldn't ditch him for Luke and Kit. We had a night with Cooper planned and we're not the type to dump someone because something different comes along. I hate that mentality.

I wasn't sure how Piper would react either. Meaning, sharing Cooper with Kit. I tossed this around in my head for about ten minutes and then opted for the mature thing: I asked her. She seemed non-committal at the time. Jealous? Probably not that right word.

By the end of the evening things had loosened-up and Kit really turned on the charm. Cooper showed some interest in participating in a group thing, but just not that night. We decided we'd try and set something up in a few weeks, when Piper and I would be out on the Cape.

We said our goodbye's and drove back to Piper's. I made us some drinks and returned to find Piper and Cooper already in the bedroom. They were by the bed kissing and Cooper was running his hands over her ass. They were really into one another so I thought it best to be a spectator that night.

Piper's great about involving me in these situations and she balances her attention between Cooper and me. Cooper gets most of the attention and given the physical situation that's only natural. But she does doe some things that really turn me on.

When she's about to go down on him, she'll glance my way for a few seconds and smile.

When she gets fucked doggie-style she likes to face me and stare at me, at least until she's too distracted.

Finally, on those occasions when I can't help myself and need to jerk-off, she'll watch me, a small grin on her face.

She's terrific. Piper has a tendency to be cool in these situations but that stems more from her shyness (she used to be painfully shy as a child). She does use it to great effect.

Cooper is cool as well. Although it's never quite normal to hang with a guy after he's royally fucked your fiancee, he's easy to get along with and those weirdness vibes are toned down.

Moving Forward

So many choices.

Some things you have to experience for yourself. I mean, I always knew that wedding preparations could get stressful. I always knew that marriage ceremonies had become a huge business. But, until you experience it as one of the two participants, you don't realize how many choices you have to make. Not to mention the choices within the choices. It's dizzying.

Thankful, I'm marrying a smart, man's man that is generally allowing me (and my advisory council) to make the important decisions. Steve has displayed just enough interest to humor me but never interferes with my vision.

I won't bore you with my indecision.

Here's what I'm considering, if not the actual dress than something similar (yes I'm wearing white so stop laughing). I really like it.

I just love the beading. The problem is that I'm not a big fan of the current trends which are running away from the traditional towards the trumpet-flare style one sees in movies from the '30's and '40's. Something Veronica Lake might slip into for a cocktail party. Which is great, but not for a wedding. I want tradition and simplicity.

For a headpiece, I want something simple. I've pretty much settled on this one.



Simple but elegant, or at least I think it's elegant.

My Mother and future Mother-in-Law have been, with rare exceptions, great and extremely helpful. It's rather funny to watch them in wedding-plan mode. They are two traditional women: dignified, gracious, poised and both defer to their husbands.....in public. In private, not so much. They approach wedding planning like engineers and works crews building a skyscraper - they are all business and highly efficient. If NASA had these two, we would have placed a man on the Moon much earlier.

Celebrity Crushes

Being devoid of ideas I did what any good blogger does: steal. I stole this particular idea from Nina and our good friends at Erotic Union, who have also published Part-III of their Las Vegas Tale. As usual, it's terrific and quite an honor to be featured in another blogger's fiction.

My Celebrity crushes, in no particular order:

• Jensen Ackles - Dean, from the television show Supernatural. He's just hot, in an old-fashioned, tough guy, wise ass, kind of way.






• David Boreanaz - formerly of Buffy, Angel and now Bones. Love the strong, silent type.






• Derek Jeter - Shortstop for the.....I can't say it. I just can't say it. I'll burn in hell.






• Alex Rodriguez - And burn, and burn and burn. But, it would be a pleasure to burn.






• George Clooney - Duh.






• Evangeline Lilly - Kate, from Lost. Very pretty, gorgeous eyes. Girl-Next-Door extraordinaire.






• Ali Larter - Heroes. Has that 'Bad Girl' thing going on that I like.






• Kate Beckinsale - Long time readers know that Kate is my perennial favorite. If I were ever going to pick out curtains with a woman, Kate's my girl.






• Joan Allen - I know. She doesn't usually grace these lists but I like her. Great actress with a soft yet commanding presence. She's got a hot, older woman thing going on that Steve likes as well.

Have a terrific Fourth of July. Steve and I have some fun lined-up this weekend. Should be a good time.