Over the weekend we received an e-mail from Audacia Ray about being featured in the Village Voice's Naked City blog. We agreed. It was a lot of fun and we'd like to thank Audacia for the opportunity. It was very cool for a modest, little blog to be featured.
We also want to thank Wanton Maleness for mentioning us to Audacia. He's a great blogger, a good blog friend and was recently highlighted in Naked City as well. He was also featured in Ellie Lumpesse's series on Musings on Masculinity. So, he's hit the big time. We hope he remembers us when he's famous.
Seriously, when people on our blog roll (and he and Chickpea may have been the first bloggers to link to me when I started) get recognition, we always try to acknowledge it on this blog.
Finally, we'd like to take the time to thank those of you who read us, comment here and have added us to their blog roll. It means a lot to us. Thank you.
I've always liked Wanton Maleness for a number of reasons. Although his posts on sex can be fun and hot, I like him most when he explores that mysterious, semi-mythological land of male emotions. Sex and sex-related blogs still seems dominated by females. There are great, male bloggers but not all of them write about what goes on in the heart. The male reticence to verbalize what they're feeling seems to have spilled over into writing. Wanton Maleness explores that undiscovered country.
When I'm in emotional turmoil, I want to talk. And talk. And talk. I work my way through things while talking to Steve or a friend. Men, Steve in particular, have a need to resolve things before they talk. The conversation usually ends up like this, "I acted that way because I was feeling...." It would be nice to be let in on what's going on while it's going on. I think most men are like that. I do not think it will change.
Perhaps it's their way of being strong for themselves and for us. If so, I love them for that. Just remember, we want to know you, even when you're not at your strongest. We like to feel not merely wanted, but needed. But not too needed.
So, to you men out there: If you find the perfect blend of masculinity and sensitivity, are strong when we need you're strength, vulnerable when we want you vulnerable and verbalize your emotions, but not too much, we'll be happy.
Who says we're not easy to please?
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2 comments:
Piper,
The number one reason men don't talk about their emotions is because they embody them. Which is another way of saying they don't think about them in a way the inspires introspection, which is a little bit like watching yourself in the third person. Women seem to crave the intimacy of sharing their feelings, not adjusting their feelings to better embody themselves. We all know men like to fix things, and introspection implies the potential for adjustment, which implies flaws. Hey, can't I just do some sit-ups for that?
I like to pretend I am not like the others, that I can be introspective and sharing, strong when I need to be strong, vulnerable when I need to be that. Well, its may not be the case. I find that acting out my emotions works better for me, most of the time, I suspect because of the close connection for us Y chromosome holders between action and feeling. What my partner can act out sometimes comes from disassociation, whereas being disconnected action from emotion tends to leave me limp. Lately I have been trying on some new actions and I find the emotional release is quite enjoyable. For boys it may be that actions create identity, I get to be dominant by acting that way. I kinda wish that it wasn't this way but I'm moving toward the point that wishing is not a great career move. I want to live, not wish for life.
Hey, you rock as always.
On an entirely different subject: I'm curious to know what the two of you think of Swingtown.
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