Something has changed, however subtle, between Steve and I. It's a change in the 'swinging' aspect of our relationship and began post-engagement.
Steve has become....what? More territorial? More possessive? Jealous is not the right word, not by a long shot. Jealousy is not an intrinsic part of Steve's nature. Or mine. We have our moments, of course, but those moments tend to be of the garden-variety type of jealousy.
Case in point is my recent encounter with Jason's friend, Aaron. Before our engagement, Steve would have worked quickly to set up a meeting with Aaron. He would have phoned Aaron a few days after our meeting to try and set up a visit. Steve also would have asked me, at least once a week, when I thought Aaron and I might get together....
Now, he takes things much slower. There's no rush and while Steve said he'd love to watch Aaron and I, Steve has not set the ball in motion yet.
It's a change that I've touched upon but have not yet directly discussed with Steve. If our lifestyle is to continue changes will be made. We will be a family and protecting my family will be paramount. That means discretion in partners. Although I like Steve's current girlfriend, Chase, very much, he has had former partners of the less-than-mature variety. I don't need a vengeful, Medea-wannabe on my doorstep at 2:30 in the morning. It's bad for my complexion and won't win over the neighbors.
This also means veto-power over prospective partners. I primarily function on intuition and while not always accurate, intuition has served me well. I don't want to have to rationalize my feelings about someone Steve might sleep with when I get a bad feeling. The bad feeling should be enough. It will have to be enough.
I like this new development in Steve. I like this "territoriality." It's subtle, like when a man puts his hand on the small of your back to help usher you through a crowd. It's a light touch but just enough to now it's there. I know I'm not supposed to like it. I know such feelings will piss-off many feminists. I'm also liberated enough, and old enough, to know what I like, need and desire. I like Steve marking his territory. I like being his and that's okay because in other ways, I've made him mine.
In the meantime, Saratoga has posted Part II of his story. Stop by and let him know what you think.
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4 comments:
"I know I'm not supposed to like it."
Oh I completely disagree...
That acknowledgement of 'belonging' and the subtle presence of 'possession' does in no way diminish you or your power.
Liking it is understanding the power and the vulnerability of what it truly means to be a woman.
Your Steve is good... I need to pay closer attention to him because that subtle territoriality he's got going on is pretty darn slick! ;)
Fooled me.
Mwah!
xoxo,
nina
subtle territoriality - I think I am the same way. we love being in playful sexual scenarios, but I am always making sure that my wife is safe and sound. I know she knows I am watching I just try and not make it over bearing.. Great stuff guys.. love the new blog.
I've pushed, and I've tried to set things in motion, but subtle territoriality is much more in-line with what my wife wants. Fun is fun but their is something a little unnerving in having your man push you into the arms of another man so he can get his rocks off. So long as the woman drives the hijinx, it seems to go better. And it goes nowhere without her feeling secure knowing that she is "owned" in so much as he will always be there for her.
Lovely post.
There is nothing wrong with liking the committment or partnership. I LOVED that in the beginning of my marriage. In fact, it is one of the things now missing in my marriage and I want it back.
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